Have you ever heard the saying “do your best and let God do the rest”? It is a popular saying and one that I think can be applied to dating. Sometimes we erroneously expect God to do all the work for us, and whilst God obviously leads and guides us, usually, when it comes to dating, we have some work to do ourselves. It might be as big as deciding to try something you haven’t tried before, or as small as saying yes to an invite to hang out with friends. But, whatever it may be, a single Christian seeking a relationship would need to take some definite steps.
So, how do you know what you can or should do, and what should be entrusted to God? Should you approach someone you like directly, for example? Should you just pray and hope that God will bring someone your way? How long should you wait before trying something different? So many questions might be going through your mind and the dating scene can feel like a minefield sometimes. But I hope I can share a few things to help you navigate this.
Prayer
Let’s start with being prayerful. As Christians, we can’t underestimate the importance of prayer. It might seem like God isn’t interested in who we date or marry, but He certainly is. Whilst there may not be one specific person out there for us to marry, God knows the kind of person that is best for us, so we should ask His guidance before embarking on a relationship, and even before we get to that stage.
Praying shows that we trust God’s wisdom and believe that He knows what is best for us. It also prevents us from making mistakes when we do things in our own wisdom or strength. The Bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6; “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Proactivity
Secondly, be proactive. Before I met my husband, I used to attend a small church that was made up of mostly women and hardly anyone my age. I loved it though and felt that was where God wanted me to be at the time. But I really wanted to be in a relationship and get married, so I made the decision to try online dating, and it worked!
If you’re in a similar situation, why not try something different? Whether it’s online dating, or speed dating, or even just joining a group of people with similar interests, being proactive is more likely to get you your desired results than just sitting at home hoping that man or woman will drop from the sky! It also shows God that you’re serious about what you desire, and He can then direct you accordingly.
Perseverance
Thirdly, don’t give up too soon. Just because you’ve been on the dating scene for nine months and you haven’t met anyone yet doesn’t mean you’ll never meet someone. Keep at it. Go to that event. Stay on the dating website. Say yes to invitations. The truth is you never know when or where you’ll meet someone, so be patient and don’t give up.
But what do you do if you’ve done all this, and it hasn’t really yielded any results? It’s important to remember that when God guides us, He sometimes does this by closing certain doors. So, whilst it may be disappointing that a particular contact didn’t lead to anything more serious, for example, it is important to not be discouraged or see this as the end of the road. If you’re really trusting God to guide you, trust that He knows what He is doing and will open the right door at the right time.
If you’re thinking of embarking on the dating journey, or you’re currently on it, remember that whilst you can trust God to lead you to the right person for you, you still need to take some action. So, do your best and God will do the rest!
Read more posts by Urenna Kiwanuka here
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