Whilst dating can be a fun time, when you’ve been on the dating scene for a while and seemingly nothing has come from it, you might start to feel discouraged and even be tempted to give up. But if you’re serious about meeting someone, you’ll need to understand that disappointment is a real possibility when it comes to dating, and in those moments, being able to encourage yourself is very important. So, how can you encourage yourself for the dating journey?
Here are six simple things you can do to encourage yourself whenever you need to.
Scripture
There are many ways we can encourage ourselves as Christians and one of them is through God’s word, the Bible. One of the most famous scriptures is John 3:16 that reminds us of God’s love for us. So, when you feel discouraged, or are tempted to think that you are not loved, remember that you are loved by God. That man or woman may not have seen your value or perhaps it just didn’t work out, but it doesn’t mean that you are worth any less. God loved you so much that He gave Himself for you. That is something that should encourage everyone of us, regardless of our situation.
Gratitude
Thankfulness is another way to look on the bright side of things and encourage oneself whilst dating. Things might be taking a while, or you may be recovering from yet another unsuccessful encounter. Whilst it is hard, you can still be thankful – for example, for the opportunity for new friendships and experiences, and the chance to learn more about yourself.
Another Bible verse I love is in Romans 8:28 which tells us that all things work together for the good of those that love God. So, even when things don’t work out on the dating scene, God still has a plan and is somehow working things together for our good. So, thank Him for it.
Anticipation
Try to see the positives in the waiting. The truth is we all have different seasons of waiting in our lives. For you, it might be for your future spouse, and for someone else it might be a job, or children. God’s timing is usually different from ours and even though it can be frustrating at times, we know that His timing and His plan is always the best. When a particular relationship doesn’t work out, or things appear to have really slowed down on the dating front, you can see it as a sign that the best is yet to come – something better lies ahead. This is something to be excited about!
Happiness
Sometimes when we’re feeling discouraged, we need to take some practical steps to encourage ourselves. I remember feeling down after a breakup once and my mum encouraged me to go out and do things that made me happy. That advice stuck with me, and it really helped my mood. What makes each person happy will obviously be different, but for you, it might be spending time with friends and people you love, going to see a movie, travelling, or something else. Think about what you enjoy and put some effort into making it happen. Trust me, you will see your mood lift in no time!
Talk
Another practical step to take if you’re feeling discouraged is to talk with someone who will listen, like a close friend, your pastor, or even a professional counsellor. Sometimes we just need a listening ear from someone that understands what we’re going through, or someone that can help us work through our emotions and help us see beyond the here and now. So, take some time to share your feelings with someone you trust; don’t bottle it all up.
Prayer
Finally, pray. The Bible tells us not to be anxious about anything but to pray about everything. When you give your burden to God, He takes it and gives you insight that you wouldn’t have on your own. He is near to the broken hearted and those who are crushed in spirit, so, don’t be tempted to ignore your prayer life because you’re discouraged. Ask others to pray for you too, especially when you’re struggling to pray.
Before I met my husband, his mum had asked him how she could pray for him. He had been feeling a bit down as he had been on the dating scene for a while, and it just wasn’t working out with anyone. He asked her to pray for him and she did. Not long after, I came on the scene!
Now, it may not happen exactly like that for you, but prayer works, and whether or not you meet someone in six months or a years’ time from now, you can be encouraged in knowing that your prayers are being heard by God and He is working behind the scenes to bring the answers to those prayers, at just the right time.
What are your tried-and-tested ways to encourage yourself as you date?
Enjoyed reading ‘How to encourage yourself while dating’? Read more by Urenna Kiwanuka here
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