In Romans 12 verse 10, the Bible says, “Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves”. Paul was talking to the church in Rome, but this also applies to us as Christians, and I believe can also be applied to dating relationships. The word ‘honour’ means to hold in high respect, or with great esteem. It might sound like something we reserve only for God (whom we should of course, honour), our parents or spiritual leaders. But we can see from Paul’s letter that it is meant for the rest of us as well. So, how do we show honour in dating?
Let’s look at some simple but important ways to honour one another when dating.
Respect
First of all, we honour each other when we treat each other with respect. Respect in a dating relationship can look like respecting boundaries: moving at the pace of the other person, not forcing oneself or opinions on the other, not doing things that the other person clearly doesn’t like or is uncomfortable with, not taking the other person for granted, not assuming what the other person likes or doesn’t like, but asking them, and treating them with courtesy.
In practical terms it can mean responding to messages on time, being on time for dates, speaking to them in a kind and caring manner rather than a derogatory one. When we respect each other in a dating relationship, it shows that we see the other person as someone of value, and someone that is created in the image of God, and therefore, worthy of being treated right.
It also sets a great foundation for a future marriage. And even if the relationship doesn’t end in marriage, it leaves both parties feeling positive about the relationship after it ends.
Do unto others
The Bible also says that we should do to others what we would have them do to us. This is the Golden rule – treat each person how you would like to be treated. You could argue that if you apply the Golden rule in every situation when dating, you can’t go wrong.
An example of treating each other how you would like to be treated is being open and honest with the other person. This means choosing not to play games or string the other person along but being honest about how you feel especially if the relationship is not working for you. It may be hard to let someone know that it’s not working out especially if they don’t feel the same way, but honestly is the best policy and they would look back in future and be grateful that you were honest with them, instead of stringing them along and wasting their time.
Authenticity
Honesty and authenticity are crucial for any relationship. Showing up as your true self with no pretences is another way that you can honour the person you’re in a relationship with. When dating we naturally want to be on our best behaviour, and it can be tempting to try to be what you think the other person likes. But, this doesn’t serve either of you, and it is hard work! It is much better to be yourself and know that the other person likes you for who you are.
Confidentiality
Another way we can honour one another in a dating relationship is by maintaining the confidentiality of the relationship. Whilst it can be helpful to discuss certain aspects of your relationship with a trusted party, sharing every bit of information about your relationship dishonours the other person. This is especially true if you’re sharing things that they might have shared with you in confidence. Protecting the privacy of your relationship when dating will stand you in good stead when you go through rough patches in future, for example, in marriage.
If your partner offends you or you learn things that don’t portray them in the best light, instead of running to tell an outside party, choosing to work things out together shows that you value and respect your partner, thereby honouring them. Of course, if the person you’re dating is not respectful towards you and there are signs of concerning behaviour, don’t accept this as normal and carry on. Honour yourself and seek help outside of the relationship.
Honouring speech
Speaking well of our relationship (in a truthful way) is another way that we honour each other. No one is perfect, of course, but it is important that we talk about our partners in a way that is respectful, loving and kind. It can be tempting to join in negative talk, especially if you’re talking with people, or someone else that is complaining about their own relationship. Whilst there might be things that could be improved in your relationship, choosing to focus on the positive aspects and the good qualities of your partner is a way to honour them and your relationship.
Love languages
Lastly, learning your partner’s love language is a great way to honour them. Whether it’s acts of service, gifts, or words of affirmation, we all have different ways that make us feel loved. So, paying attention to what your partner’s love language is, and acting on it is a way to honour them, and show them that you truly care.
Honouring one another when dating shows that we care about the other person, and we value them. Treating them with respect, speaking well of them, maintaining their privacy and speaking their love language are all ways that we honour one another in a relationship.
What is the most important way you’ve found to show honour in dating?
If you’ve enjoyed ‘6 important ways to show honour in dating’, you might like ‘How to transition from meeting to dating to a healthy relationship‘ and ‘3 simple ways to be a blessing as you date‘
Get weekly blog articles direct to your email inbox
